Too many people nowadays want immediate gratification and everyone is looking for 100% of the relationship from the other person while giving no value or effort in return.
It’s either “Buy this” or “Do this for me,” and no one is asking, “What can I do for you?” “How can I help you out?” “How can I make your life better?”
This is why it’s so hard for charities and homeless people to receive help from strangers.
In many ways, charities and homeless people resemble businesses and entrepreneurs because whether they realize it or not, they are both selling a commodity.
When you are approached by a homeless person asking for help, you’re going to have to make a decision.
You can either say yes or you can say no to helping that person out.
If you say no, you say you’re sorry, you keep walking and you continue on with your day.
But if you say yes, you’ll get a positive feeling that you did something good for someone else that you wouldn’t have been able to get anywhere else.
You cannot attain this feeling that you did something generous for someone unless you say yes to helping that person out.
Therefore, you are paying for a commodity in the form of a feeling.
The reason people hate being approached by homeless people though or why more people don’t give more dollars to homeless people is because homeless people have no interest for the people who can potentially better their lives.
It’s all me, me, me with homeless people.
When you look at a homeless person’s sign, it’s always something about who they are and why we should help them out: “I’m a homeless vet, I lost my job, I have four kids, give me money please.”
This is how they market themselves, but this doesn’t make anyone want to help them out, it only makes us pity them.
If their sign said something like “YOUR contribution, YOUR help, YOUR little act of generosity can make such a huge difference in my life” and then explain what that contribution means to them, people would be happier and therefore more inclined to help out because they placed the importance on us instead of on themselves.
Charities are the same.
Charities are never providing any real value first into the relationship. They want everyone else to make the first move for them. They want everyone else to put 100% into the relationship while they put in 0%.
Charities would be way more successful if the first interaction between the charity and a potential contributor wasn’t, “Would you like to donate to (insert charity here)?”
They would be way more successful if they provided value first and actually cared about me as a person and our relationship.
As a result, if I felt like I was special to them and that my dollars actually made a difference I would be less hesitant to say no and would feel happier about giving them my money.
To get people to do something for you, you have to be willing to provide value first so that they will want to help you out in return.
When you provide value first into a relationship, a funny thing happens. You make people actually want to give value back to you.
But the things is, you can’t be disappointed when people don’t reciprocate. Some people just won’t.
After time though, you will inevitably find people who will genuinely want to help you and see you succeed, but you’ll only find those people in life by deciding to give to the relationship first and then continuing to give until they want to buy from you, do business with you or help you.